Marian’s Happenings

Hot Chocolate #1, 11:30am

Well here I am sitting in McDonalds in some random ski slope in Sweden. My aim for today is to not get kicked out of McDonalds, without buying any food. I don’t like McDonalds, but there isn’t anywhere else here that’s warm and nice enough to sit down in. Every time an employee walks past me, I’ll mutter something in English and take a sip of my delicious 10sek hot chocolate like any other paying customer would. I figure that so long as it’s still warm, I can still be here.

I’ve got a pretty nice view here. If I were a homeless person, I think that sitting below the golden arches in Sweden would be pretty sweet. You might have to go from one McDonalds to another though. It could be known as “McHopping” or something equally as witty. You could eat other people’s leftovers and not have to do any dishes for the rest of your life… not that I can imagine homeless people having any dishes to do anyway, but it’s a good idea in theory.

Anyway the reason why I’m sitting here is because I took a pretty decent fall on day 2 of the skiing extravaganza. My “good” knee is no longer my good knee, or at least for a few more days. In all honesty I probably could get back out there (we had a day of rest yesterday), but I’m pretty scared to hurt myself good and proper.

On day 1 of the skiing extravaganza we woke up at 6am, I slept in the car and David drove for 4 and a half hours to Stoten in Salen. We were greeted by some rain, which at first seemed fine because it was pretty light. So we courageously decided to venture to the top of the mountain. Jumping on the t-bar, David asked, “should we get off here?” half way up the slope where lots of other people appeared to be dismounting. I was feeling adventurous at the time, so suggested that we wait until reaching the very top.

And that was a bad idea. By the time we reached the top of the mountain, the wind and rain was getting more intense. Let me rephrase… the howling blizzard and ice-shard storm was beginning to make small holes in my face. I thought at the time that that was the most frightening thing I had ever experienced in my life. That is, until the wind started to force me down the slope. I was clinging on to that snow like a cat with sharpened claws on a newly purchased sofa. Or at least I was trying to, but my success was more like a mountain goat on a slippery dip. David went off ahead, not batting an eyelid. He turned to face me to see if I would follow. I think he must have seen me mouth “F*ck this!” in the howling wind, or words to that effect, and shake my head vigorously, to which he replied, “Come on! You can do it!”. Like hell I could do it, the slope was like this steep → \

Come on- I come from a country that is 99% desert. We’re not designed to be able to ski. I couldn’t see where the slope went because it was so steep. After about 5 minutes of outright refusal to budge, the wind was winning the fight. So, I figured if I died I would at least be preserved in the ice and snow so that my body may be cryogenically preserved and re-thawed one day to rejoin the human race.

I can’t exactly recall what happened after that. What followed was probably a combination of screaming expletives and squealing high-pitched sounds of fear, not that anyone could hear. By this stage my “waterproof” clothing had well and truly failed, and I was drenched to the bone. Somehow I made it down that slope, only falling once if I recall. I remember laughing when I fell, but secretly wanting a flamethrower to melt the snow and anyone who got in my way, or a high-powered jet pack to get myself off of that god damn slope as quickly as possible.

About half way down I discovered that I wasn’t very good at turning. So, the last part of that run was really efficient. I overtook David and rocketed down the slope at a hundred miles an hour. I somehow managed to stay upright (similar to my last skiing experience in Sweden (I was known then as kamikaze Marian)), and David was very surprised and relieved to see me still in one piece at the end of the slope. He later told me that that was a black slope (or avenue of death as I will know call them)- if only we’d known before taking the t-bar right to the top we might have still had the same happy Marian as we did a few hours beforehand.

The shower that I had when we got back was one of the happiest moments of my life. I could once again feel my face, which luckily, was still in once piece. The next day we decided to take green and red slopes. I still wasn’t very happy with the red parts, but only fell once, which was a case of crossed skis, somehow landing on my knee before rolling face first on to my hip and looking somewhat like a duck who didn’t quite learn how to do water landings properly as a duckling. That one really hurt, even David said it looked impressive, and I have some killer bruises to show for it. He then proceeded to teach me how to turn properly, with encouraging comments such as “OK that was great, now try one without looking so freaked out”.

Neither of my knees are particularly strong at the moment, so today I have decided to not risk things, and instead sit here in the warm and secure confines of the golden arches and enjoy the slopes from a spectator’s point of view. It’s lunchtime here at McDonalds, so quite busy. The only table next to a power point also happens to be one of the biggest, so I’m enjoying watching people debate whether or not they dare to sit next to the strange looking girl with the laptop who appears to have no interest in skiing whatsoever. So far the only winners have been an elderly couple that didn’t appear to be extremely conversational. If I just sit here and keep my eyes fixated on the screen, then no one tries to talk to me, which is a good thing because I wouldn’t be able to understand what they’re saying anyway. Hmm now I have 5 Swedish guys sitting next to me, which is slightly weird but hey it’s not like I can move. David might come back for lunch soon and scare them away.

The best thing about not understanding people is that you get to create your own dialogues. I think they must be having a heated debate about the differences between sensitive and regular dishwashing detergents, and their subsequent environmental impact. Ah here comes David now, so it’s almost time for hot chocolate #2.

Hot Chocolate #2, 1:30pm
Well I’ve had some McDonalds and it was pretty gross, but I figured that I owed it to the almighty Ronald McDonald for allowing me in to his fine establishment. Time to entertain myself somehow now… perhaps some solitaire.

Here are some random ski pictures:

Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 1:34 am.
Filed under Sweden.
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